7 Absurd Celebrity Baby Names

Celebrities are affectionately known as ‘stars’ and are applauded for being different. When it comes to naming their children however, it seems more likely that they have their heads in the stars. As if Apple wasn’t strange enough for Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin’s first born, they really hit the ball out of the park with Moses. With absolutely no good reason for picking this biblical figure to name their kid after, Moses is going to get a lot of confusion coming at him from the Jewish community.

For those of you who are not mildly obsessed with Superman, you might not recognize Nicholas Cage’s choice for his son’s name. Kal-el was Clark Kent’s real name when he still lived with his family on Krypton. This is all great for the kid who can shorted his name to ‘Kal’ if he wants to – but that’s not going to rid him of his ridiculous father who has named him after the man of steel, and probably expects him to live up to it.

You could almost imagine why Poppy Honey was Jamie Oliver’s choice for his child. Both of them are food items, and he’s a famous chef. You can even ignore the oversight that poppy is the flower used to make most addictive narcotics. But Daisy Boo? It’s even worse when you try and call both the children together. Think of the attendance list at their first school. Will Daisy Boo Oliver and Poppy Honey Oliver please raise their hands? What a mess! 

Celebrities like attention, that was one of the main reasons why they pursued their careers in the first place - but creating a buzz around your child’s name is just pushing it. The worst part is, Shannyn Sossoman is not even that famous – her best role was in Night’s Tale alongside now deceased stud Heath Ledger. She just picked a really weird name like Audio Science and stuck it to her child’s forehead, forever making him feel like an idiot in public. Or like a particularly interesting college course. 

We all know Woody Allen is strange, it’s what makes his movies legendary and gives him an edge in Hollywood. But in 1997 when he married his adopted daughter, Soon Yi Previn - who was 35 years his junior, he named his first daughter Satchel. Like the bag. So the Allen Family consists of Woody, Soon and Satchel. Sound more like the Adams family when said out loud. 

After hearing a song by the artist Granddaddy, Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl) and his wife Beth, decided to name their first born Pilot Inspektor. Jason thought replacing the ‘c’ with a ‘k’ would make the name more original. No one knows if he thought that there are other Pilot Inpektor’s running around Hollywood making the name taboo, or if he just wanted it to be 100% unique. That kid is going to be confused for a very long time. “Is Pilot Inpektor on the airplane?” 

This collection of baby names takes first prize for the most absurd baby names in existence. Frank Zappa, a composer and guitarist, lived a very controversial life until his death in 1993. Most famous for challenging President Al Gore about his preference for country music, and for refusing to accept sponsorship from record companies, Zappa was always into strange names.

His records ‘Waka Jawaka’ and ‘The Grand Wazoo’ attest to this fact. Press releases on his children are very rare which means they’ve managed to keep a low profile. Someone should give Diva Thin Muffin Pegeen an award for managing to stay out of the papers with a name like that. The press would be all over that headline if she ever did anything worth writing about.